By David Phillips
Selfish Prayer?
As Christians, can we pray for ourselves? Are personal requests seen by God as selfish, and therefore displeasing? Considering the importance of prayer in the life of the child of God, this is a very significant concern, and one that we should feel compelled to get the right answer to. Let’s view this from a few different approaches, each with a Biblical angle, to make sure we get it right.
First of all, we are instructed to pray for things that are beneficial to our individual lives. In Luke 11:3, in response to the disciples’ request to teach them to pray, Jesus said His followers should specifically pray, give us each day our daily bread… That is about as basic and personal as it can get, and Jesus said we should pray for that basic necessity. James 5:13 says, is any among you afflicted? Let him pray. The word, afflicted is a word which points to trouble and suffering, which was a very immediate problem for those to whom James wrote this letter. The principle, however, would be true for God’s people anytime, in any needful situation. Are you having difficulties? Then pray for God’s help for yourself! In James 1:5, he says If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. The phrase …[God] upbraideth not… seems to be a statement of assurance that there is no disgrace in asking God for something like this for ourselves. We are also instructed to pray for our own personal forgiveness, in Matthew 6:12, and also in Peter’s instruction to Simon in Acts 8:22.
But secondly, note many examples in scripture of those who prayed to God for things for themselves, personally. One of the clearest of these is the Lord Jesus, as He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane. Matthew, Mark and Luke all three record His prayer. Mark 14:36: Abba, Father, all things are possible unto Thee; take away this cup from Me: nevertheless not what I will, but what Thou wilt. The apostle Paul admits that he had prayed to the Lord three times specifically asking that the “thorn” in his flesh be taken away. The answer Paul received each time was “no”, but not because it was wrong for him to ask such a thing for himself. That answer was obviously because it was the Lord’s will that Paul should have that thorn and deal with it, becoming stronger in the process. King David’s example, which is highlighted in the entire 51st Psalm, is filled with requests to God for personal forgiveness and restoration, apparently after the sins he had committed in 2 Samuel 11. In fact, many of the Psalms are composed of personal requests to the Heavenly Father. Have you noticed how many of the songs we sing in worship are petitions to God, asking for His blessings?
In the third place, we are confident that God expects us to make personal requests for ourselves to Him, based on what is stated in Romans 8:26. In the same way, the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words… The context of this passage is instruction on a very personal level, assuring us of the things the Father has provided for us to benefit us individually. Those things include the Holy Spirit’s intercession (v.26), the Son’s advocacy on our behalf (v.34), and God’s providence (v.28).
Would it be possible to pray a selfish prayer? Certainly, it would. The sin of selfishness can potentially reach into and corrupt any part of our lives, even our prayers. Remember, selfishness acts as a motive, and it would hardly affect only one narrow aspect of our words or conduct. If we prayed ONLY for ourselves, never expressing or showing any concern for others, then we’d be guilty of selfish praying. God’s attention span is much broader than our ability to grasp. We don’t have to worry about “using up” His attentive grace on ourselves so that none is left for others. If we are actively pursuing the teaching of Colossians 3:12-17 for our lives, and have a legitimate personal need or desire that we are struggling with, then let’s pray about it!
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive…